


Corporeal memories

by Lilibet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, reverse TPM, reverse!au - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25126156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilibet/pseuds/Lilibet
Summary: He has loved him for so long, known him in all ways. Shared mornings, afternoons, and evenings, golden sunsets and cobbled streets, dusty novels and cheeky smiles hiding behind cups of tea.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 50





	Corporeal memories

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by chat on the Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan discord. This was meant to be lighthearted and happy, but I just made myself sad.

  
The smell of cauterised flesh hangs in the air like the suffocating smog of Coruscant.

The ghost of fingertips tracing along his cheekbone, lingering like a cool early morning mist.

A whispered voice, weak, a last plea lingering on the last breath.

His heart twists as violently as though the saber had pierced him, and he wishes with such ferocious need that they could swap places. He’d do anything, force take him instead, please, and spare his-  
  


* * *

  
The whir of the generator, the steady pulse of the forcefields. He is alone in the shadows that lick into the corners of the room.

The body in his arms is unnaturally still, stiff and unforgiving, but he isn’t dead he can’t be, how-

Footsteps.

A hand on his shoulder, meant for comfort, but lacking.

Someone reaches for the body and he snarls like a cornered beast, jaw snapping, teeth bared.

They recoil.

He hunches over, watches as tears drop onto a tunic, dots of darkness splattering and growing on the fabric.

He chokes out a manic laugh, _it’s him it’s him it’s him-_  
  


* * *

  
He carries him. An empty body and an empty chest.

The bond is destroyed, ripped out by the roots to leave a hollowness that claws at him, its blood red talons sinking in, pulling, carving.

He looks as though he’s sleeping.

He feels nothing.

He feels everything.  
  


* * *

  
Alone, he stares out the window.

The evening is spread out in the sky, the sunset streaking across the horizon in splashes of orange and purple, twisting together with deep blue and wisps of cloud.

The balcony is empty save for flowers. They were his favourite flowers.

He looks away.  
  


* * *

  
The heat burns his face.

He wants to scream, restlessness scratching at his bones. _This isn’t right, this wasn’t meant to happen. It should’ve been me._

Silence reins but for the crackling of the pyre.

His hood is a blessing and a curse. The flames dance in mocking twists and spirals, searing into his mind.

He clenches his fist around the only liberty he was allowed.

_“Given the unprecedented circumstances,”_ they’d said.

The only attachment he is permitted.  
  


* * *

  
On the balcony with the flowers, the darkened sky conceals his grief.

He has loved him for so long, known him in all ways. Shared mornings, afternoons, and evenings, golden sunsets and cobbled streets, dusty novels and cheeky smiles hiding behind cups of tea.

Soft laughter, the brush of a hand, robes trailing along the floor-

He uncurls his fist and stares.

This, the only physicality of his memories he’s allowed to keep.

A braid, liquid fire in the setting sun.

He weeps.  
  



End file.
